SHARK NIGHT

Cole's Rating: ½
Jesse's Rating: ½

Year: 2011

Cast: Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack

Genre: Horror/Thriller

MPAA Rating: PG-13

       Being a big fan of shark movies such as Open Water, Jaws, and The Reef, I was anticipating this movie to be not great, but at least good. Apparently that’s too much to ask for, because this movie was absolutely horrible. 

       Let’s begin with the plot. A group of college students visit a lake ready to party and have a good time on vacation. This plan is ruined when they find several sharks in the lake. And that’s it. I could talk about how ridiculous and despicable the ending was, and ruin it for people who haven’t viewed it, even though it doesn’t really matter because hopefully nobody will waste their time and watch it. 

       It’s as if David E. Ellis has never made a movie before in his life. I mean he really hasn’t, Snakes On A Plane wasn’t much of a movie, more of a piece of garbage. The character motivation was dreadful, if evident at all. My best guess would be that they made the movie, and then came up with reasons for the characters’ actions in a panic.  

       Apparently reality wasn’t important to the filmmakers either. I mean have you ever seen a shark leap six feet out of the water, perfectly timed, and rip a guy’s head off while he was driving a jet ski at 40 MPH? Neither have I.

       I’m not going to go into the acting too much either because like the rest of the movie, it was pitiful and embarrassing. To preserve what little is left of the dignity of at least the actors, I will not go any further. 

       I hate to rip this movie apart entirely and take the last and only thing it has going for it but... Wait, no I don’t. The graphics for the sharks honestly looked like they were from a free virtual game that you would download on your phone while waiting in line at the DMV, only to realize that it too is awful.

       For the sake and respect of movies, don’t waste your time on this. I sincerely hope that they don’t make a sequel. But with meager, low-budget movies like this, I can only hope.

Written by Cole Pollyea