CATWOMAN

Thatcher's Rating: ★★

Director: Pitof
Year: 2004
Cast: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Benjamin Bratt
Genre: Action/Fantasy
MPAA Rating: PG-13
         
          Now before any lovers of comic books and fandom read this (if any lovers of comic books and fandom read this) I'd like to forewarn you; if you keep this movie to heart or crave Halle Berry's seductiveness to the death, then please do not read this review in fear that you will be disappointed with the review and overwhelm the comments section with disapproving opinions as if it were a carpet bombing.

          Since I've made myself clear with this point; on to the review (Your last chance to turn back is here). Catwoman starts with Patience Phillips (Halle Berry), a mild woman whose only intrigue from others derives from her rather strange name (which isn't even Selina Kyle, the name of the original D.C. Comics Catwoman. That's right, I've had past interests besides those concerning cinematography). Patience lives a stressful office life with her promiscuous friend, Sally (Alex Borstein). This in itself is very strange considering she constantly looks for men out of her league. Patience does meet "cute cop", Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt), which you think would be sure to raise her self confidence. Nope, not even hints and flirting from the handsome policeman are enough to raise her spirits. Then, in a rapid turn of events, Patience unearths secrets of the company she works for, Headare Beauty, that weren't meant to be found and ends up in a tragic accident... That is, until a CGI cat breaths into her, or something. The connection between the cat and Patience is hard to follow, even with a subplot revealed   entailing the cat's owner. The newly transformed patience (Catwoman, that is) is undoubtedly attractive, but nothing we haven't seen before. The leather-clad heroine first decides to fight bad guys for some odd reason (watch next time you're laying with a cat and make sure it doesn't breath on you, otherwise you might find yourself trying to beat up bank robbers). Eventually she makes a little more sense and tries to get to the bottom of what her former company is brewing and even tries to kindle some romance with Tom along the way.

         What I don't like about this film is the apparent lack of attention to anything film-worthy. Instead all possible effort is focused on Halle Berry, her figure, her voice, and everything about her that makes the modern male audiences pay attention in their movie theater seats for. It's okay when films use a sex idol in a movie role as long as they focus on movie elements as well (Some Like It Hot, the sex idol being Marilyn Monroe). Catwoman did not follow this method and instead used every excuse it could to show Berry in the director's unlawful vision. The plot is the worst; the acting isn't great (try watching Sharon Stone in this one, just try!); there is absolutely no character motivation. It has terrible special effects; realism isn't evident whatsoever; and practically everything else is uncalled for. The cameraman had some good ideas, but I doubt they were used to be artistic and will likely end up making you dizzy. Catwoman may have had nine lives, but this movie should've been buried upon opening.

Written by Thatcher Boyd